Pimp Kat Daddy :3
by DarkDragon4
Summary: Iroha is a cold hearted pimp who runs a tight sex slave ship. Read on as she sets out on her adventures with her friends and her whores! This is my first story and overall it's a crackfic. Rated T for language and the chicken strips Iroha wasted. Read, review, and enjoy.


Pimp Kat Daddy ;)

A loud scream rips through the UTAU household, quickly hopping out of bed Teto launched herself into Iroha's bedroom only to find Len trembling on the floor for not forking over his cash, with his gay lover Gakupo in front of him as a human (bitch) shield. After a long explanation and peeling Iroha off of Len before he suffocated, it turns out Len was just trying to pull the hand- in-the–bowl–of–warm-water trick on Iroha thus waking her up, causing her to freak out, beat and nearly choke him to death.

"You two are idiots", huffed Teto," and I was having the best wet dream ever-"

"Let me guess, eating the world's largest loaf of French bread "wheezed a still recovering Len. Iroha stared at the alarm clock wondering when Luka's alarm clock would trill and wake up but most likely scare the unholy crap out of Rin, cause her to stumble into the room thinking it was the bathroom, which she did regularly, and flick on the lights beat Len for being alone in a room with two girls.

_**!**_

"AAAAAHHHHHH! What in the bloody heck is that!", shrieked Rin as she face planted on the plush carpet, stumbling into Iroha's room her eyes slowly focused on Len. Fearing for his life he delivered a swift chop to the back of Rin's neck. As he dragged Rin from Iroha's room Ruko walked down the hall on her/his way to the coffee machine and tripped over Len's foot (the prankster couldn't resist), he then hightailed it out of there with Rin slung over his shoulder and a pissed of Ruko on his heels.

**IT'S A **_**TIME SKIP YOU GUYS! ^O^**_

After ripping an aggressive pet squirrel off of Piko (Ritsu had acquired an attack squirrel in a raffle) , getting chased by dogs on the way to the mailbox, and mobbed by a bunch of fans: Iroha's day was slow and peaceful. That was until Ruko fell asleep at the top of the stairs and Teto tripped over her and landed on , you guessed it Iroha. She became enraged and ran to Gakupo and slapped him in the face with a big, thick, long, hard eggplant. At first he was shocked and hurt, but then he cried out for more. "SLAP ME HARDER DADDY! I'VE BEEN A BAD GIIIIIIRRRRL, OH HIT ME MORE! PUNISH ME MORE!" Cried the purple haired faggot Gakupo, suddenly he stopped the abuse so he could turn on Bruno Mars' It Will Rain. He then got down on the ground with his bottom in the air. "Do whatever you wish with me. I like it rough!" He got his wish as the dyke Iroha beat his pasty butt cheeks with the eggplant as hard as she could until it broke and exploded all over his lower back. He wiped some off of his back and licked it, he looked back at Iroha and smiled coyly "Thanks so much, that's the closest I will ever COME to having sex with a girl. Thank you so much lover." He said with a wink, and he was swiftly pimp slapped by Iroha. Her many rings leaving imprints in his face "Yeah right hoe, get your fiiiiiiine purple ass back into the stable nigga." She said angrily as she pointed to the kitchen so he could make her some chicken strips. "Yes daddy." Gakupo replied sadly as he trudged to the kitchen. "Man, pimpin' ain't easy." She said as she sat in her big comfy pimp chair and used Kaito as a foot stool. Suddenly she made him get up and twirl for her. He was always the prettiest to her, with that blue hair, long legs, and an ass that don't quit. That and he always licked that ice cream cone like a pro, he always had the sexiest highest heels, short skirts, tight midriff shirts, and sexiest makeup of all the other hoes. Now that's a boy that was made for hoein', yeah boy! Hatsune Miku a rival pimp tried to get her to trade off Kaito for one of her hoes, (The ugly Neru) but she refused. She beat her with her pimp cane and she finished the job, slit her throat, and take her money. She hated Rin and Len so she made them only be her furniture and polish her pimp rings. Occasionally she would make them clean her fur coats. She hated them so…. Gakupo returned ready to give his master her chicken strips. She looked at the food, took a bite, and looked back at him. "WHAT IS THIS? BITCH THIS CHICKEN IS COLD!" She screamed as she slapped the chicken strips out of his hands and punched him square in the jaw! She attacked Gay-kupo, he cried and screamed reaching his hand out to Kaito for help. Kaito kicked his dirty hand away and continued licking his ice cream cone gayly. Then ugly Neru entered the room with her ugly side ponytail, she had come in to ask if she had to work that night. Iroha was enraged, she hated being interrupted! She grabbed Neru's gay eighties side ponytail, ripped it out leaving a baldspot and blood all over her scalp. Iroha wrapped Neru's ponytail around her neck and strangled Neru to death. She then made Rin and Len dispose of the body by throwing it into Gakupo's room. Therefore framing him instead of getting herself or Kaito in trouble, Gakupo was arrested but then released because he had only killed a dirty prostitute, and ugly one at that!

Iroha's assistant Luka happily informed her boss that she had successfully finished cutting Big Al's heirs' brake lines." Good job Luka," praised Iroha "I was wondering can you do the same to that little pussy Gakupos' gay purple eggplant moped."

"Sure can boss, if you want I can rig it to explode when he sits his big fat ass on the seat!" Luka chirped happy to do her bosses dirty work.

"Nope, I changed my mind I like having him around so that I can beat the shit out of him when I get mad. God, all in a days work, pimpin' ain't easy.'' Iroha said as she sat down in her comfy armchair to smoke a good old Cuban cigar and count her money.


End file.
